30 Things I will not do while on board the U.S.S Enterprise:
1- Tell Bones No, actually, you are a physist
2- Inform Scotty that the ship is actually male
3- Download porn onto the ships mainframe and blame it on the Russian.
4- Stick a tribble down Spocks pants.
5- Convince Sulu that Chekovs hair is actually a tribble in disguise.
6- Steal a phaser and see if I can cook eggs while set to kill.
7- Replace Scottys scotch with apple juice.
8- Run around screaming the Klingons are coming while repeatedly ringing a bell.
9- Lovingly refer to Spock as a green-blooded hobgoblin
10- Lock a redshirt in a closet
11- Repeatedly ask Spock how his mother is doing.
12- Give Kirk Spocks hair cut, eyebrows included.
13- Everytime Dammit Jim is uttered replying Oooh McCoy said a naughty word!
14- Ask Sulu if hes secretly a ninja.
15- Scream COMMUNIST! every time I pass Chekov in the